I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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