just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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