so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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