Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
