highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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