her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
