Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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