There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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