is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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