There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
