well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
