I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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