haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My vagina just clenched in fear
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