have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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