Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
