I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
