I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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