'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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