Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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