My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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