I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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