He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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