I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
