Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
