Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
