is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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