watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
