Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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