Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
