u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I won the penis lottery.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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