I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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