GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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