I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I want her autograph on my taint
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize