Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize