you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
