Who did Billy Mays play for?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
