got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
