Will you blow on my dice?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
