i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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