FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
