A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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