i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
