I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
