Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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