I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
