hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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