My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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