therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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