He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
