Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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