We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
