I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
