Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
