my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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