he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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