If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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