I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Less talking, more tequila
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
