I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
