As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
