Fine. I'll sleep in my office
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
