There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
