We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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